View Full Version : Baller ass low low carb non-dough pizza.

Double R
05-13-2013, 09:56 PM
As you know, I pretty much eliminated all bread/grain based carbs in my diet. However, I was really craving a pizza. What was I going to do? Put cheese and pepperoni on lettuce? GTFO.

I was looking for alternate recipes to make super low carb pizza. Hence, I found out how to make a pizza crust out of cauliflower.

Take a head of cauliflower and throw the shit in a food processor. Pulse until it's pretty finely ground. A small head should make around 2 cups dry. Put into a bowl and microwave about 3 or 4 minutes. Wait for the shit to cool off a little and dump it into a dishtowel and wring all the water possible out.

Mix cauliflower with one egg, salt, pepper, garlic, whatever other seasonings, and maybe a little bit of corn meal(I use almond meal). Then put in about 1/4th cup of shredded mozzarella and 1/4th cup parmesan cheese in the mixture. Make sure it's all mixed.. Spread out mixture on pizza pan or stone(use parchment for christ sake you idiots). Bake for about 10 minutes at 450. Take out, put on sauce, cheese, toppings, etc and back in for 5-7 mins.

2 cups of cauliflower makes a small personal pizza. I used 4 cups for mine and it made a lot. Just double the other ingredients obviously.

I'll be honest, I was skeptical. I thought it was going to taste like dick. It ended up being really fucking good. Obviously it's not a perfect taste match to dough based pizza, but it was delicious nonetheless. If your toppings and shit are good, you'll barely notice that it's not actual bread. You don't taste the cauliflower.

Try it. You'll be surprised.

Also, steamed cauliflower in a food processor and blended until smooth is a great substitution for for mashed potatoes. I throw some butter and cheese in the processor, too. It's good.

05-14-2013, 01:51 PM
What's happened to you Matt? :(

05-14-2013, 02:21 PM
why not just put it on a low carb pita u fuck

Double R
05-15-2013, 07:36 AM
Because I cut out all grain based carbs in my diet faggot.

05-15-2013, 07:53 AM
7 carbs wont' kill you shithead

05-15-2013, 10:45 AM
Sounds like you cut out a couple testicles too. Eat your pizza like a man, this asparigus dough shit sounds like something you'd hear on Oprah.

J/k :lol:

Double R
05-15-2013, 11:35 AM
Fucking Cauliflower Harry.

Fucking Cauliflower.

Double R
05-15-2013, 11:36 AM
7 carbs wont' kill you shithead

It very well could.


05-15-2013, 01:33 PM
i wouldn't know the difference if I was looking at them.

05-15-2013, 02:55 PM
I tried making pizza dough out of flaxseed and it tasted like shit.

Double R
05-15-2013, 07:13 PM
Yeah, flax dough is terrible

05-16-2013, 04:22 PM
dude you are right....cauliflower is the fucking SHIT!!!! i honestly hate cauliflower by its self, but since my daughter is allergic to Potatoes my wife wanted to find a solution for some potato foods...mashed cauliflower is fucking amazing, she also makes these cauliflower pancake type things...kind of like a hashbrown type, and its fucking delicious!

I think imma present this to wife and make some baller healthy pizza. sounds fucking delicious!

another thing you might like are banana pancakes, its just mashed banana and egg mixed together, then cook like a pancake, they were pretty freaking good as well.

and are you celiac? or just decided to cut out grains by choice? just curious

Double R
05-21-2013, 09:10 PM
Nope. No celiac. Just decided to cut out all grains for beach weather.

When it gets colder, I'll go back to hammering down oats and brown rice.

I made a chicken bacon ranch cauliflower pizza last night. I used about 5 cups of cauli. It made a standard large size. However, the crust didn't get as crispy.

I noticed that the more cauliflower you use, the more water that stays in the "dough". Its hard a fuck to wring out all the water. It stays in the cauli.

The trick to get a crispy pizza like crust is to keep the pizzas small. Instead of one big ass pizza, I make two smaller personal size pizzas.

05-29-2013, 11:56 AM
oh okay. i didnt think you were celiac, but thought id check. i have two in my family and its kinda in the same area, kinda

but i put cauliflower pizza on our fucking menu to grub down next week...so ill keep that in mind to keep em small, maybe just make 3 little ones for each of us. my daughter is prolly gonna die from loving it so much. she loves cauliflower and loves pizza sauce haha.

05-29-2013, 12:36 PM
Pics or GTFO.

06-09-2013, 12:02 PM
wife and i made it last night....FUCKING BALLER. was so good. its more of a fork and knife pizza...you cant really slice it and eat it like that. but we made 4 individual pizzas. black forrest ham and pineapple.
my 16 month old daughter even loved it...she ate an entire pizza


05-30-2014, 04:09 PM